Umbrellaless
by Mirrored
Summary: This is Yaoi and is my first fic (yah!!!) it has suicide, angst, and a mean T.K.


Umbrellaless  
  
Yeah!!!!! My first fic!!! Ummm well there's lots of angst in here, and suicide, and yaoi, and umm well that's it... I think. Oh umm also sorry T.K. fans but well it just needed to be done I hope you understand.  
  
Ok umm Disclaimer: I don't own anything besides the order in which I typed a bunch words, and what's here is owned by Saban, and some other people, and Umbrellaless is by Mathew Good.  
  
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I remember that day so clearly I never thought it would be the last. The last day we would share together, the last day I would see you, my love, alive at least. I always knew you had problems I just never knew they were that bad.  
  
***And tomorrows forecast cloudy with a chance of showers***  
  
I remember that morning; I was eating . . . Toast, toast with raspberry jam on top, and bacon and eggs . . . And those little sausage things. And you only had a piece of toast so thinly spread with jam you could barely see it. . . I asked you "don't you want any more"? I was worried, you had always had problems eating . . . You never ate enough.  
  
You didn't take it the right way, it was like you thought I was accusing you of something . . . Of what I don't know.  
  
All I do know is that something was wrong that day. I could see it in the way you just put the toast back on the plate and walked away, you didn't say anything, you didn't even throw it down. It was the way you did everything carefully, so carefully, as though you wouldn't get another chance, that I knew. I just didn't know.  
  
I remember following you into the bedroom, and seeing you staring out of the window at the rain, with your arms around yourself so tight it seemed like if you let go you would just fall apart. It always worried me when you did that; you only did that when you were really upset.  
  
I tried to fix it, I walked over and wrapped my arms around you, but you just shrugged them off, it was like you couldn't bear to be touched. So I asked you "What's wrong?" and the reply I got nearly broke my heart. You said it was nothing, it didn't matter, and that there was nothing I could do about it anyway.  
  
I started to yell, I don't remember what I said, but I remember how your shoulders started shaking . . . It was like there was an earthquake inside of you and it was trying to get out.  
  
I couldn't stand seeing you like that, I went over to you and held you, I made you look at me and I told you that. "No matter what it was that was hurting you no matter how small it was it mattered to me and that I would do everything in my power to make it better." But that didn't work you just kept sobbing so hard your body felt like it would fall apart, so I held you tighter, I told you I loved you and tried to make it go away.  
  
I heard you talking then, but you were crying so hard I couldn't understand what was wrong, that is until I heard some of what you were saying. You said something about love hurting, and then you said the name that I knew brought you the most pain in the world, Takeru. Your brother, though how he could be called that after the way he treated you is beyond me.  
  
You had always loved him, he was a lifeline for you when your parents split up and your Dad started drinking, he was always there to pull you out of your depression. Always there, until two years ago when you finally got up the courage to tell everyone that we were going out.  
  
He took it bad, very bad he started yelling at you and calling you all sorts of names. I never thought he was homophobic, and I never thought he would leave, But he did, moved to America and none of us heard from him after that.  
  
I finally got you to stop crying, and the first thing that you said was, in that innocent, wondering voice of yours was. "They said it's going to rain tomorrow, I wonder what its like in heaven when it rains there probably isn't any water " Then realizing what you had said you giggled hysterically about waterless heaven rain.  
  
Damn it, why did you do it Yama? What was so bad that this was the only solution? Its all your fault you made it seem worse than it was, you made rainy days when there could have been balmy summer ones. You made it rain. What about me, how do you think this makes me feel? I loved you! I loved you . . . more than you could know.  
  
"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry I couldn't make it better, I couldn't make it right. I couldn't stop you from doing it from taking your own life. Why couldn't I? Why was it so hard? I'm just so sorry!" sobbed Yagami Taichi as he kneeled before the grave of his lover Ishida, Yamato.  
  
  
  
Umbrellaless  
  
you say it's gonna rain tomorrow  
  
I heard that in heaven the sky is waterless  
  
they say it's gonna rain tomorrow  
  
and I am umbrellaless  
  
you say that there is nothing I can do about it  
  
you say that looking for love is like digging in the dirt  
  
stop and think about what you are doing to me  
  
because it hurts  
  
this is it this is life and it doesn't get any better  
  
I figured that one out the moment that I met her  
  
but I fail to see what's so easy about letting go  
  
so if you can tell me you let me know  
  
they say it's gonna rain tomorrow  
  
I heard that in heaven the sky is waterless  
  
they say it's gonna rain tomorrow  
  
and I am umbrellaless  
  
she let it rain  
  
you let it rain  
  
this has hit me  
  
this is captured within the wired  
  
within the dead of my head  
  
better said than sorry  
  
I am sorry  
  
you let it rain 


End file.
